Finding Solutions to Work/Family Challenges
By Lindsey Townsend
Forget the Marines: if you're a busy mother, you're the one who does more before the sun comes up than most people do all day. Getting the kids up, dressed and fed, finding lost items, packing lunches and getting everyone to school on time can feel like a full-time job in itself. And that's before you fight the traffic to get to work.
According to the Families and Work Institute, 60 percent of working parents feel considerable conflict between work demands and time spent at home. No surprise there. And with 85 percent of employed women still working exclusively outside the home, that means millions of us are still dashing from the office to the soccer field or daycare center every night.
Working mothers across the country point to four of the most challenging work/family dilemmas. Fortunately for busy moms there are solutions to the most commonly experienced challenges.
CHALLENGE: Needing to be in two places at once.
SOLUTION: Make technology work for you.
As wireless devices continue to gain popularity, using a PC is no longer the only way to work. According to International Data Corporation, by 2004, more people will tap into the Internet through Web-enabled cell phones and other mobile devices than through personal computers. And as early as 2002, more Internet-connected wireless phones, TV set top boxes, handheld computers, network computers, Web pads and other devices will be sold than personal computers.
Exercise caution when using technology to do two things at the same time. According to the New England Journal of Medicine, motorists are four times more likely to crash when they are using cell phones. When using your cell phone in the car, use a hands-free device and don't take notes or look up phone numbers while driving.
CHALLENGE: Getting to school and work on time.
SOLUTION: Get organized the night before.
Ever go to bed thinking that you'll do it in the morning? Do you ever have the time? Force yourself to pack lunches, lay out clothes and get backpacks ready the night before.
Figure out what always hangs you up in the morning and find a solution to the challenge. For instance, if finding clean socks is your hang up, buy several extra pairs so the drawer is always stocked.
CHALLENGE: Never having enough time.
SOLUTION: Give up what's not essential.
Evaluate where you spend your time and make sure you are spending your time on things you value. In other words, if you value time with your children more than cleaning the house, then lower your standards so that where you are spending your time, mirrors your values.
Build a buffer zone around the activities you cherish by writing them into your schedule so that you don't use the time for others. If you enjoy exercise, make sure you write it into your daily planner right along with birthday parties, meetings and other commitments.
CHALLENGE Getting it all done.
SOLUTION: Enlist help.
Are you the one who always buys next season's clothes for the kids, drops off and picks up the prescriptions and plans every family outing? Your problem is management, not motherhood. Psychologist Diane Ehrensaft says that no matter how willing mothers and fathers are to share responsibilities, mothers inevitably take over three major management functions: wardrobe manager, psychological counselor and social director. If this rings a bell for you, force yourself to delegate a little responsibility. Give yourself permission to seek and accept help. It might be a simple as hiring a high school student to help at dinnertime or swapping play dates with a neighbor so that you can have a few hours to catch up.
Lindsey Townsend is a freelance writer, mother and contributor to BlueSuitMom.com